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Dress Code
1. It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.
If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay rise.
2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay rise.
3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay rise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Compassionate Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements.
In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch break and subsequently leave one hour early.
Lunch Break
1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience.
Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
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Добавлено: 24.07.07 09:59 
( я терпеть не могла носить галстук пионерский... ое по моему взгляду мне не шал 
Даже умудрился и в первый день в новой школе явиться в пиджаке! Народ еще так странно на меня косился.... 
